Almost Lover
by sabrina bayonet
Summary: In which Hanna doesn't feel the same way towards poor little Emily. Songfic. Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy.


**I never do this type of fics. But whatever. I thought I'd do something different for once. I hope you like it.**

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Emily's POV

_Your fingertips across my skin_

_The palm trees swaying in the wind_

_Images_

I've dreamed of it. Of her and I together. As more than best friends. I've dreamed about kissing her, touching her, running my fingers through her hair while she drifts off into a peaceful slumber. But it's just a dream and I really believe it's gonna stay like that. I can't have her. And sometimes that thought hits me hard, like a truck, it brings me down.

One time we went to the beach. It was one the best days of my life. Aria and Spencer couldn't go, I don't remember why. Blue sky, palm trees swaying, everything was perfect. She would sit on the sand and I would sit next to her. We would cuddle. I remember her fingers touching my arm in a soothing way after we got out of the water. We were wrapped in the same towel and I loved the closeness. And the best part was that it wasn't a dream, it really happened. But now it's just a memory.

_You sang me Spanish lullabies_

_The sweetest sadness in your eyes_

_Clever trick_

One of our favorite things to do at our sleepovers is sing out loud. We would sing so loud it would piss the neighbors off and we would have to apologize, then when we turned our backs we would laugh because of that situation.

She does cute things when she's asleep, I've notice throughout our sleepovers. Sometimes she would be cold and shiver a bit, so I would come closer in the bed and hold her to give her warmth. Or maybe I would get to go to the bathroom and she would make these noises like a little kid and stretch her arms out looking for me. They're just little things that when I think about it they make me smile.

_I never want to see you unhappy_

_I thought you'd want the same for me_

She doesn't know this but sometimes she makes unhappy. In a way that I can't have her and that makes me sad. It's not her fault, it's actually my fault for falling for her. Maybe I should forget about all this, about her, about us. I mean, it's only a friendship and I want more. I want it so bad. Mayb-

"Em, you okay?" I shook my head to the see the source of the voice I just heard. It's her. I sigh internally because she looks so pretty today, well, everyday she looks pretty. "Class finished five minutes ago and you kinda spaced out."

"Um, I'm fine." I said and quickly got up. I picked my stuff and was ready to leave but she held me by the wrist and turned to face her.

"Are you sure?" she asked with a worrying expression on her face. I felt like a shot of electricity ran up and down my arm when she touched me. Come on, Emily, pull yourself together, you can't just melt every time she touches you. That's not right. I swallow and nod my head, because I don't trust my voice at the moment. She lets go of me and I get out of the room. I sigh when I'm out.

I head to the cafeteria, get my food and sit on our usual table. The girls aren't here yet, which gives time to think. I know how they say you're supposed to tell them when you're in love with someone, but that would risk everything. Every sleepover, every moment, just everything. I can't do that. At least that's what I thought. That's right, I'm going to try and tell her how I feel. But maybe this isn't the right time, I mean she's with someone right now. Oh no, there they are. Why did I look up? They're smiling at each other and he's touching her arm and I'm gonna puke. And the worst part is that she looks happy, her eyes are glowing and why did I think I should tell her? She's clearly happy right now and if I tell her this now she'd be... I don't know, maybe that'll take a little piece of her happiness away. I-

"Earth to Em," I was startled a little and look up. Woah, did I spaced out that much that she's here in front of me? I smiled at her, like saying hi. "You kinda ran out of the classroom I couldn't follow you, I'm guessing you're hungry, uh?"

I look at my plate to see that it's empty. Yeah, when I'm anxious eating calms down or swimming. Or both. But not at the same time.

"Yeah," I say and chuckle at her comment. "Hanna," Ok, this is it. I'm going to tell her, I know this isn't the right place but I need to get this out of my chest.

"Yeah?" she said looking at me with those blue eyes that drive me crazy.

"I need to tell you something."

"Spill it." she said smiling. But before I had the chance to tell her, Spencer and Aria arrive. I shut my mouth quickly and look down ashamed. Now I really can't tell her.

"Hey guys, sorry to be late. We had an exam." said Aria sitting down with her tray of food. We said our respective hellos to them and Hanna turned to me again.

"So, what were you gonna tell me, Em?" she asked.

"Oh it was nothing. Don't worry." I said but she kept looking at me worried. She hates it when I do that. Leave her with the eternal doubt. But I just had to. I can't tell her. Maybe I'll never do it. I'm afraid. Spencer brought a topic of conversation and she and Aria talked a bit more. The whole time Hanna would look at me worried and I would look the other way. When the bell chimed we went our separate ways.

_Goodbye, my almost lover_

_Goodbye, my hopeless dream_

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just let me be?_

I've been avoiding her. On purpose of course. I just can't deal with her right now. We are on our christmas break, which gives a lot more time to think. She's been calling every day but I couldn't pick up. My mom thought that I was sick when she realized I wasn't swimming or actually doing something athletic. I heard they broke up. Maybe that's a sign, but then again what if it isn't?

Mom left to do the grocery shopping and I'm all by my self. I almost fell asleep again when the doorbell ringed. Insisting knocking on the door sounded too. I grunted and walk a little faster just so the noise would stop. When I opened the door the first I felt was arms in my shoulders pushing me in.

"What is wrong with you, Emily?" Hanna said almost in scream. She backed off and shut the door then turned to look at me.

"Good morning to you too." I said and started walking upstairs. I really don't wanna deal with this and she doesn't get it.

"I've been worried sick about you and that's what you have to say?" she said and followed to my room. "I've called you, texted you and you haven't done anything. I almost thought you died."

"Well, I didn't."

"Emily, please." she said and took me by the shoulders again, this time to sit me down on the bed. "What is going on with you?" she asked with a softer voice this time. I'm in love with you, that little voice inside my head whispered. No, I can't tell her that. She'll freak out. Maybe if I show her. I got up from the bed, being inches apart from her lips. I could feel her breathe. It happened so fast. I leaned in and kissed her, softly. But... she didn't kiss back. I backed off and saw her. She was surprised to say the least. Like everything clicked in her mind and that's all she didn't say anything else, didn't look at me. And I felt stupid. She doesn't feel the same way. She still doesn't.

_So long, my luckless romance_

_My back is turned on you_

_I should've known you'd bring me heartache_

_Almost lovers always do_

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**To be honest I wasn't very happy with the result of this. But I'm still you like it and will leave a review writing what you think of this?**


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